Once we don’t avoid and instead acknowledge our feelings, we are free to live a life outside the small box of fear that may come with the felt rejection of caring for someone who doesn’t care about us.
This commitment to action leads to fuller participation in life that allows us to encounter rewarding experiences that leave past loves and fears where they belong and make room for present and future loves that care equally about us.
This piece reminded me of when I was on the dating market, and I got ghosted by someone I thought I developed a deep connection with. Initially, I was rather upset and taken aback by it.
- Was it something I said?
- Was it something I did?
- Was it how I looked?
- Did he meet someone else?
- Was it the fact I didn’t immediately respond to his message because I was in an all day-workshop (even though I told him I would be in one)?
I noticed how my mind continued to spiral as I wondered if I did something wrong, but then it occurred to me-to consciously flip these self-defeating questions “from what I was doing” to “who is the kind of person I want to be with?”
Do I want to be with someone who randomly stops communicating with me out of the blue without any explanation? No way. Do I want to be with someone who disrespects me? Heck no!
First and foremost, you have to love yourself to be able to invite a healthy love and relationship into your life
Reframing this in my mind helped me let go of the upset feelings I had and just continue on with my life. Happily, I found the love of my life who does love and respect me. Someone who I can count on to always communicates with me when we are dealing with challenges in our relationship and who I know will work together with me to get through it. Continue reading Walk away when those feelings are not mutual